


Sirius Black and the Questionable Lemon Pie

by MerakiForest



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bad Cooking, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Found Family, Friendship, Gen, Mischief
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-29
Updated: 2020-04-29
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:20:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23902228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MerakiForest/pseuds/MerakiForest
Summary: Sirius Black really wants to start contributing to the weekly dinners at the Potters residence and his first attempt goes awry. Thankfully, Remus is there to talk him into a bit of mischief.
Relationships: Euphemia Potter/Fleamont Potter, Sirius Black & Fleamont Potter & Euphemia Potter, Sirius Black & Remus Lupin
Comments: 6
Kudos: 20





	Sirius Black and the Questionable Lemon Pie

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by true events. XD Beware of lemon pie.

"Okay, Remus, you'll have to tell me what you think," Sirius stated nervously. 

To be fair, Remus looked far more nervous to be putting anything baked by Sirius into his mouth.

"And you said that you followed the recipe?" he asked as he stared at the yellow gelatinous slice of pie sitting in front of him.

"Yeah, pretty much," Sirius muttered as he scratched the back of his head. "I mean, I figured that there really isn't a way to mess lemon pie up."

"Have you ever even had lemon pie?"

"...no."

They both stared at the piece for a moment longer.

"Okay, Moony, I'll take a bite at the same time you do, okay?"

"Phew, I don't know how you convinced me to do this," Remus grumbled.

"Better us than Euphemia," Sirius grumbled in response before he dug into the yellow mess. At least the whipped cream topping looked good.

Not one to back down from a challenge, Remus took a heaping forkful of the stuff too and only gave it one last half-hearted glare before shoveling it down his throat. True to his word, Sirius took a bite at the same time and his face crumbled into a horrified sourpuss expression.

"GUH!" Remus gagged before swallowing it down. "What in the world did you _do_ to this pie?!"

Sirius braved the bite a little longer, letting it burn on his tongue before he swallowed it down. "Whew, that was pretty awful."

"Um, yeah, that would be an understatement."

"Oh shove it, Moony," Sirius growled back. "It's not like you're some master baker or anything."

"This was probably the worst thing I've ever tasted," Remus insisted although he was eyeballing the piece of pie with some more interest. "But now I'm curious as to how you butchered it so badly." He scooped up another bite and took this one with a bit more gusto. His whole body winced and his eyes watered, but he chewed slowly before swallowing. "I feel like I ate a whole lemon."

"Psh, that's probably because there's like ten lemons in that pie."

"What?!"

"Here, it's in the recipe," Sirius defended. "Let me dig it out." He shuffled through the little tin that he had been using to keep track of the various recipes he'd been cutting out of magazines or copying out of books. Euphemia had gotten him a subscription to a Muggle cooking magazine when he had moved out last month, worried that he'd starve to death without her. "Aha! Here."

Remus snatched it out of his hand and gave him a disbelieving look before he read through the ingredients list and the instructions.

"And you're sure you followed these?" he murmured as he read.

"Absolutely," Sirius confirmed as he looked down over his friend's shoulder. "Everything except that I used fresh lemons instead of that canned stuff. Only the freshest and best for the Potters."

That startled a laugh out of Remus and he elbowed the rather surprised Sirius. "Well, that would be your problem."

"What?" Sirius asked in offense. "Why would using fresh lemons ruin the pie?"

"It's not necessarily that the lemons were fresh," the werewolf explained with a chuckle before he leaned back on the counter. "It's about potency. The canned lemon filling has very little lemon at all in it because lemons are pretty strong."

"Oh," Sirius replied with a crestfallen look. "So, a one-to-one substitution wouldn't exactly work."

Remus pointed towards the half-eaten piece. "Nope."

"Well...ugh." 

Sirius rubbed at the back of his neck in agitation while he stared at the baking disaster. One untouched and one partially eaten lemon pie rested on his counter top all ready for his weekly dinner with the Potters. A wave of compassion ran through Remus as he watched the conflicted expressions on Sirius' face. He knew that the other teen had been trying hard to show the Potters that he would be okay living on his own and that he was all grown up. Auror training with James kept him mostly busy but he always kept up with a weekly dinner with them and this was the first time he was going to be bringing something to contribute. 

"Hey, it's okay," Remus assured him with a soft pat on the elbow. "No one is perfectly amazing when they start cooking, and especially not with baking. Euphemia knows that and she's not going to be upset."

"I know," the taller wizard grumbled. "I just wanted to bring something, you know?"

Staring at the two pies, a smile curled on Remus' lips. "You still can, you know."

Dark eyebrows scrunched in confusion. "What do you mean? These suck."

Remus shrugged casually. "Exactly. But they _look_ great. When was the last time you pranked the Potters?"

A light of recognition lit up behind the shimmery grey eyes. "It's been months."

"Exactly," Remus grinned. "You and James have been so busy with your Auror training and they wouldn't be expecting anything mischievous from you. I say go for it!"

"You're a bad man," Sirius laughed as he punched his friend.

"Even better, I think that both of them will try not to say anything at all because they both know how hard you've been working on your cooking."

Both boys stared at each with wide grins.

"Why, Moony, I think that you are absolutely right. Want to come to dinner with us?"

"As a matter of fact, Padfoot, I think that I would.

* * *

The dinner was an excellent spread as could usually be expected from Euphemia. Fleamont regaled the two teens with his entertaining stories of potions mishaps during the early days of his hair products company. It was during these animated stories that Sirius would think about how similar James and his father really were. They both had the same gleam in their eyes and grandiose hand gestures as they told a story and Sirius could imagine all the mischief that Fleamont got into while he was at Hogwarts. Euphemia would always warn him not to give them too many details or they would get ideas, but there were precious few stories that he had shared with all of the Marauders during sleepovers. 

"It's really too bad that James had to stay late tonight for his Auror shift," Euphemia bemoaned as she waved her wand over the table to clear it off. "He's going to miss this wonderful dessert you brought, Sirius!"

Remus and Sirius shared a quick glance and the young werewolf bit back a smile while Sirius just beamed proudly. 

"I'll save him a piece, Mum," he replied smoothly, his voice betraying no hint of the mischief he had planned. "I mean, it's my first pie after all. I don't want him to miss out on that." He absentmindedly stroked his foot along the sleeping form of the Potter's dog Snuffles, an old mutt that was probably in her last couple of years. 

Euphemia placed her hand on his leather-clad shoulder, Sirius never bothering to remove his favorite leather jacket even at the dinner table, and she gave it a comforting squeeze. "I'm so proud to see you trying new things, Sirius. I've even bundled up a few of my easiest recipes for you to try and you can always give me a call through the Floo if you need help with anything."

Warmth bloomed through his broad chest and Sirius felt his face inexplicably blush. Getting praised by parental figures was something that he still couldn't seem to get used to, especially if it was for things he hadn't even done well. For Fleamont and Euphemia, praising their boys came for the effort put into something far more than the end result. 

A surprised cough from the other end of the table caught Sirius' attention and he saw Fleamont staring down at his large slice of pie with wide eyes and the fork still held in his mouth. His lips trembled around the fork for a minute before the metal tines were pulled away slowly and his throat worked down the rather large swallow. The elderly man smacked his lips quietly for a few seconds before he smiled wickedly and cut a larger slice for his wife and set it in front of her. Sirius stifled a laugh and coughed into his elbow, desperately trying to hold on to his composure for a little while longer. He didn't want them to suffer through an entire slice, but a few bites were necessary.

"Did you watch the Quidditch matches this weekend?" Sirius asked Fleamont, keeping the prim Euphemia in the corner of his visual field. 

She looked so proud of that mass of yellow and white and he felt a little bad at turning his dessert into a prank, but he was sure that she would understand. The thought flitted through his mind that he would _never_ had dared to do such a thing to either of his birth parents. Not that they would have tried to eat anything made by wizard hands, anyway. Nothing but the work of dedicated house elves was acceptable. 

"Oh yes, it was an exciting match! James and I were talking about making a trip out to see the match with Bulgaria. Do you boys think you'd like to come as well?"

Sirius caught Euphemia's slightly widened eyes as she took her first bite, but the offer of seeing a live Quidditch game caught his attention much like a tennis ball being tossed would. 

"Yeah! I'd love to!"

"I'd have to check with my schedule," Remus added as he leaned his chin against his palm. "Just got this job and I don't want to mess with the schedules if I don't have to."

"Of course, of course," Fleamont agreed as he waved his hand. "I'll send an owl to Pettigrew as well. And if you can't make it this time, Remus we'll find another game for you to attend."

Remus was blushing now too. No one could ever really get immune to the overly kind Potters unless you were actually born into their family, Sirius thought. It didn't matter that all of the Marauders had been exposed to this level of kindness for the past eight years.

"You don't have to," Remus said weakly.

"Nonsense! There's nothing like the thrill of a game while you cheer in the stands!"

Fleamont took another automatic forkful of the pie and shoved it into his mouth before remembering what a terrible idea that was. He barely managed to muffle his gagging sound before hastily swallowing it down. Sirius couldn't hold in his laughter anymore and his bark of a laughter echoed loudly.

"Don't put yourself through that!" he managed to squeeze out and a look of relief flooded through the older wizard's face. "Please, I know that's terrible!" He glanced over to Euphemia and his eyes widened as he saw her dabbing at her mouth with a napkin and her entire plate cleared of the pucker-inducing pie. "Merlin, how did you get that down?!"

Even Remus looked shocked. "Wow," he muttered and she just offered the boys a kind smile.

"It was your first pie," she replied sweetly. 

"But...it was terrible!" Sirius gaped.

"It just needed a bit of work," Euphemia offered politely. "I think that maybe you used...straight lemon juice, was it? Rather than filling?"

"Er, yeah. I juiced lemons and added a bit of corn starch to thicken it. Like you do with that beef gravy."

Her smile never faltered and Sirius felt a new wave of respect and awe for this woman. The unflappable Euphemia.

"That was good thinking, Sirius," she praised. "It's just not exactly a one-to-one substitution. I'll have to look up a recipe on how to make lemon filling if you want to use fresh lemons next time."

Her husband laughed and pushed his plate over to her. "Do you want to finish my slice, love?"

"Please don't," Sirius laughed as he snatched the plate away from her. The poor woman would probably suffer through another slice just to make him feel better about his baking mishap and he'd rather spare her taste buds and stomach from that. "I know it's terrible."

"I see you were in on this, Remus," Fleamont teased with a wink. "Hmm, I've gotten a bit lax in my prank-spotting abilities! You boys have been behaving too well lately!"

Remus hid his smile in his palm even as the blush remained painted on his cheeks.

"Well, it was a good first attempt," Euphemia complimented again with a pleased glow on her face. "I can't wait to see what else you bring, dear. These family dinners are really my favorite evenings of the week and I'm so glad that you're getting involved in them more."

Unable to hold himself back, Sirius jumped out of his seat and moved around the table before crushing the smaller woman into a hug. He slid to his knees so that he could rest his head against her plump abdomen and he wrapped both arms around her midsection. The witch didn't seem the slightest bit phased, and she ran her fingers through his growing hair affectionately. This was a special kind of comfort that only a real mother could provide and Sirius was glad that he finally found his.

"Thanks, Mum," he murmured into her stomach.

A kiss was pecked on the top of his head. "You're most welcome, love. Feel free to come over anytime you want a lesson in the kitchen. I won't have my boys going hungry."

The wet nose of Snuffles caught at his exposed neck for a minute before Euphemia shooed the dog off.

* * *

The fireplace settled again after Sirius stepped through the Floo to his apartment and Fleamont chuckled as he leaned back in his reading chair. "Well, he definitely caught me off guard with that," he stated happily. "His poker face is definitely getting better, darling."

"It sure is," Euphemia replied as she sat back heavily and waved her wand to pull out her newest knitting project. She was trying to make a sweater that was breathable enough to work with Remus' high body temperature but at the same time sturdy enough to survive many years of rough handling. "That pie was rather tart."

"Tart is too kind of a word," he shot back with a chuckle. "How did you manage to eat that whole slice? I was afraid that it would burn straight through my stomach!"

"Dear, you should know better than to ask a woman her secrets," she chided as started the incantations for the sweater.

The elderly wizard just chuckled and leaned back to get into a comfortable position for reading his newest potions book. It was always important to keep learning. "You are not a witch to be trifled with, that's for sure."

Her brown eyes glanced up to be sure that her husband was already focusing on the book before she looked over at her faithful dog and winked. Snuffles lolled her tongue out again, wondering if there were more treats to be had tonight.

"Hi Mum, Dad!" came the boisterous greeting from the front door as James clattered into the house. He immediately went into the kitchen where his portion of dinner was covered with a Stasis charm. "Ooh, can I have some pie?!" he called out excitedly.

The two Potters glanced at each other and grinned.

"Of course! Help yourself!"


End file.
